Santa Barbara Winemakers. Raisin Hell.

Wine Tasting. Mad as a March hare.

First off, no names will be mentioned, neither wine nor establishment, nor clues to their whereabouts.

I had been trying to track down a few winemakers today so that we could get more footage for the next few months. Trying to work between our respective schedules is not easy, but we are determined to get you all on film.
Instead I found myself at a loose end and decided to check out some of the local wares I haven't tried before or for a long time to say the least.

The short of it was that after about thirty or so wines, my mouth felt like a mouldy barrel, filled with over-ripe fruit and a layer of brett that made me want to get to the nearest cellar for an SO2 dowsing. I don't know who the culprit was, but out of the pack I found one or two wines that were palatable. We expect a bad track on an album or cd but usually the other songs make up for it. Today's tasting was the opposite and cost close to $40 for the displeasure.

The long of it is an eye opener that I hope can be rectified before the mongol hoards come through again this year. You may have figured out that this website is a champion of Santa Barbara wines, her winemakers and vineyards. We know SB is on the cusp of becoming a great appellation and produces some of the best wines in the country, so listen up guys. Disappointment in one wine is acceptable, in half a dozen is permissible but over 80% is unforgiveable. Over-ripe fruit with tart and bitter tasting room staff does not make a balanced wine.

I never mind a little brett, it's something to do with the yeastiness in English beer that makes it acceptible to mine and many others' tastebuds. I also don't mind a little mould, usually found in stinky cheese with a bottle of red to wash it down with. I do object to cutting out the middleman by replacing it with some damp, skanky, mildewed, furry deposit from some unimaginably rotten cellar where hygeine only happens when it rains. I equally don't mind if the tasting room staff have the odd off day, I can deal with that, but remember they are selling your wines and they should put the wines in the best light to get the till working.
The wines on the counter should reflect the best of the best, especially at their price range. I have paid less to fly to London round trip, compared to a case of these offerings and still had a free tasting in coach.

Being a great believer in a stitch in time saves nine, I hope you find these comments enlightening. We know it isn't easy to get good staff, so at least work with the ones you have. Take them under your wing, let them taste from the barrels, show them how to pour wine, let them know what bad wine is like, especially if it is not built for aging. a clean glass is a nice touch too. Give them a little of your confidence.
Many customers know nothing about wine so a tasting room assistant is there to assist, explain, promote and SELL. Instead I got to witness this beautiful exchange:
The scene: Sheepish customers walk in, pick up a randomly displayed bottle and asks if this is any good.
"It's great." Answers the assistant.
"It's not for me it's for a friend." Responds unwitting customer.
"They'll love it. That'll be $24."
Admittedly the wine sold and the scenario took less than a minute. You may think wow, that's what is supposed to happen. No. This couple were buyers, ready for a little learning. Why not offer them a complimentary tasting at least of the wine they bought, why not tell them more about the wine, how best to approach it, store it, letting it breathe, what to eat with it? If they had been engaged longer they surely would have bought more, afterall I didn't need any help and there was noone else in the tasting room.
Just as bad is listening to loud music, in an essentially refined tasting room setting where such music is incongruous. I never understood country and western and don't find that it pairs well with wine, especially when the assistant feels compelled to sing along to the odd chorus and then almost has to shout out the flavour profile, or select ingredients. The Valley is laid back but shouldn't be comatose, nor pretend to be Woodstock. In some tasting rooms music does work but that's because the staff are good and the wines better.
Another tasting room poured out some wines and each time I tried to figure out why I could smell assorted garnishes, until I noticed a tray of dips and an unfinished lunch in the middle of the counter, though to be honest it did seem more inviting than the vegetation I found in the glass of misplanted red.
I'm not a winemaker, nor a studied expert, but I do know if it works or not. There are some pretty good cab producers out there and even better syrah makers and you know who you are, but there are also some questionable bottles on the local shelves with failed attempts to disguise the bad with a drop of good. Green only turns to red when approaching the traffic lights, nowhere else. This method of blending is not going to get beer drinkers off their arses (unless they are grass chewing bumpkins, who listen to C&W and need something to pair with corn.)

What surprised me even more was the tasting notes exclaiming Parker numbers. Bob, did you have the flu that day? Your mark-up advice didn't sell it to me.
Not only that but when you are paying as much as $10 a tasting, I can readily accept that the wineries are only making money from the fees (and free logo glass) and not the raison d'etre. A tasting fee keeps the riffraff out, but bad wine tasting karma keeps the bottles on the shelves .

There it's off my chest.